How much does it cost to join DVS? 

Regular dues are $50.00 per year for singles and couples, prorated to January 1st.  Dues are paid in January by all members. 

 Who runs the events and activities?

          The members run the events and activities, there is a committee that helps to plan and post each event, but             we rely on our membership to host.   We are DVS.

 Where is your club located?

            We are not a physical location we are a group of like minded members.

In what areas do your members live?

If you drew a circle with a 60 mile radius around Center City, Philadelphia,
you'd be including probably 80% of our total membership. 

We have members in central and south Jersey, northern Delaware, southeastern
PA, including Philadelphia, Bucks, Delaware, Chester and Lancaster counties, as well as members in the Baltimore & Washington, DC areas.

What do you mean by "Permissive" or "Non-Permissive?"

           Permissive is a play if you want event.   Non-Permissive is strictly social. 

Are lifestyle people "easy?"

            Easy going?  Easy to talk to?  Yes, we are all of those things. 

How does one deal with rejection (getting it, or giving it) at Permissive events?

            Rejection happens in real life, you should understand that sometimes you just don't connect with another                 person.   NO always means NO!  Be respectful.

How do you handle misbehavior at DVS events?

            It doesn't happen very often, because we all share common values which revolve around individual                           empowerment and respect.  We also abide by written bylaws.  These bylaws are the official rules of DVS.                   Their purpose is to illustrate the shared set of values to which we all subscribe.

As a member driven, self-policing organization, it is the duty of every DVS member to uphold these values and to speak up immediately, in the event of inappropriate behavior on the part of members or guests.

Substantial or repeat offenders are not fit for DVS membership, and are expelled from the organization.

What advice would you give to a couple or single who's new to the lifestyle or DVS?

          Start with some Non-Permissive events. Get to know people. Make some friends. Take things at your own                   pace.  You won't ever be rushed or pressured.

Here’s a great idea: HOST something!

Wow!  What better way is there to get out and meet people, than to have them come out to meet YOU?! It doesn’t have to be at your house. Do a city walk, or a restaurant outing, or a dance night at your favorite club. We don’t have to take over the whole place, in order to meet there and have a good time, together.  Try it, you'll like it!

What else should I/we know?

 

Well, there is the fine print.  Our lawyers say we have to disclose the following:   

(Deep breath, talk fast, tongue in cheek)

Prolonged and heightened sexual arousal may lead to increased respiration, sweaty palms, rapid heartbeat, impure thoughts, palpitations, heavy petting, oral stimulation, dry mouth, masturbation, hairy palms, and blindness. No not really. Just kidding about the last two. Other symptoms may include perspiration, intercourse, vaginal lubrication and/or discharge, multiple orgasms and happiness. If symptoms persist, lather, rinse, and repeat.  Your actual mileage may vary.  Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.  In case of erections lasting more than four hours, insert your own joke here.  Consult your doctor before starting this or any exercise program. See store for details. This coupon has no cash value. Void where prohibited. 

Have a question that's not answered, here? Just ask.

Chances are, you're not the only one thinking it, so send it to Membership@dvsynergy.org and we'll add your question, and the answer, right here on this FAQ page!  (We'll also email the answer directly to you.)

 

 Want more? 

This excellent lesson is offered by one of our DVS members:

"A suggestion for the new guys (with female partners) in the group:

I remember what I was feeling when we first jumped in to the lifestyle.  Along with the assorted insecurities and uncertainties came sort of a resentment that my partner was getting all the attention and action from the established guys in the group.  I remember scratching my head and asking myself why this was happening, and what I could do to make things better for myself, as I frequently found myself alone on a couch somewhere in the house, feeling somewhat irritated that I couldn't seem to make a connection.
 
 
After much thought and reflection, I realized that the guys in the group, when they liked what they saw, just made a quick introduction and away they went with my wife.  The women in the group, on the other hand, appeared to want to get to know the new guy a little before they accepted an invitation. 
 
As soon as I realized this, I decided to just be myself and have a good time socializing.  If something happened, great, if not, that was also great, as I had made new contacts with the ladies and was having a good time.  And, I was laying the groundwork for future good times as I was getting to know someone.   In a short time, things began to work out and as I look back, I realize that if I had known this from the beginning, it would have made it much more enjoyable. 
 
Remember, as Billy Crystal had so aptly put it, 'Men just need a place, Women need a reason'.

 Also. . .about "keeping score":  That's not what its about, and if everyone just relaxes and has a good time, things will fall into place and everyone will be happy."

Great question. Every DVS member understands and is supportive of another person’s desire to make friends, first. No one should ever be pressured to do something they’re not comfortable doing.

That said, DVS also counts many experienced swingers among its ranks. If your idea of making friends first runs more along the lines of, “Hey, I like you-- wanna meet me upstairs in five minutes?” There’s a pretty good chance that at most parties, you’ll find someone you fancy, who shares your concept of pacing.

Anyone who wishes to decline an invitation to play needs only to say, “No, thank you".  No elaboration or justification is required. The party who wished to play simply moves on, unless that party wishes also to become known as a jerk. Pressure is neither welcomed nor tolerated.

Smart people keep their cool, because they know that those words don’t necessarily mean, “No, not EVER!” They usually just mean, “No, not right NOW”.  There’s always another party at which they might try again. As the wise man said, “(S)He who burns bridges falls in river and makes cold shower.”

It’s probably fair to say that we’re at least as selective as the majority of people in the “vanilla,” or “vertical” world. Very few people are likely to play with someone in whom they feel no genuine interest or attraction.

The label of “Non-Permissive” is used to describe an event at which, due to the nature of the event, or its location, or simply due to the wishes of the host, sexual activity is not appropriate, and therefore, not permitted. Since we are respectful guests in another person’s home or public venue we honor the host’s wishes in this matter.

Other events may be labeled as “Permissive.” This simply means that sexual activity is permitted, or allowed, but never required. At no DVS event is sexual activity ever required. No one should ever feel pressured to do anything that they are not comfortable doing, with anyone for any reason.

In our hearts and in our homes. Yes, it sounds a bit corny, but it’s also true. We maintain a post office box address for the conduct of official club business operations, but have no permanent facility.  We're a 'non-landed' organization.  Many events take place right in our homes. Depending on the type of event and available resources, other events may be held in rented facilities or other public venues such as parks, museums, restaurants, hotels, banquet halls, theaters, city sidewalks, even tour busses!

We all do, from time, to time.  DVS is a member driven organization. The terrific people who make up our membership host events that interest them, and then invite the rest of us to come along for the fun!  Hosting is our way of giving back to the group that gives so much to each of us.

Frequently Asked Questions

 

Delaware Valley Synergy

P.O. Box 219

Drexel Hill, PA 19026

 

E-Mail: membership@dvsynergy.org

All Content Copyright 2005, DVS

All Rights Reserved

 

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